Man Trip Successful

Well, I arrived home late Sunday night (9pm) sopping wet and chilled to the bone. You may thing that's awful? Eh, a little but even despite having to peel my clothes off it didn't negate an overall AWESOME weekend.

Since Beth posed the question; I am the John Travolta on this journey as I am the one who hatched the plan and drug the others along...one having not ridden in 7 years and NEVER in the rain (oh, he was in for an education).

Left work early Friday about 1:30. Brian & I met up with Tim east of Seattle. We were looking to maximize time so we took I-90 over Snoqualmie Pass. My Sporty needed fuel so we stopped at the resort at top of the mountain. Out of unleaded only supreme. Well, supreme it is then! Onward then with the next fuel stop 120 miles away at Moses Lake. Two gas stations out of gas. What the heck!?! (Do they not understand that for a gas station to make money they must have gas to sell)? Sporty was on fumes. Would we need the spare canteen of fuel? Luckily, no. Five miles further was a large truck stop with services. Put 3.5 gallons in that 3.3 gallon tank!

Next, hit a town called State Line. Guess where it was? At the state line of WA & ID. Fueled the bikes and now needed fuel for the body. Road signs on hwy listed a place called "Cruisers" with a motorcycle silouette. Sounded good. We wouldn't find out. Parking lot was filled with Harley's and real bikers and their biker women. The place was a corrugated metal building with a "drive thru" at the end. Apparently, you drive your bike into and through the establishment and get your spirits to go. I assume then the biker bimbo ridin' bitch feeds the rugged biker his brew through a tube as they ride on down the highway. But, so as to avoid the scene from Wild Hogs (I had visions of that running through my mind) we passed and ended up at the Outback instead. I know, I'm a fraidy cat. But I'm a live fraidy cat :)

Arrived St. Regis at 11pm and stayed at Super 8. Brian's nerves fried as I was careening around mountain pass curves at 65 in the pitch black; the only illumination was from our headlights. I had an advantage of following a big rig and was merely keeping up with him. Did I mention having to navigate through the obtacle of construction and those tall orange pylons as well? Brian is still probably cursing me. But it's an experience he'll remember! :)

Saturday started early. I was a bit tired; slept restlessly. I'm a light sleeper and the smallest of noises wakes me in my own home. Now I'm in a strange place with two persons I don't normally share a room with. My body is really alert. I kept waking up 'cuz there was alot of farting going on. Brrrrpppp! "Huh, what was that? Oh, Tim farted." Then someone talked, no, hollered in their sleep. Don't ask as I can't remember what was said. Tim & I headed out. Brian went back to sleep. He would meet us in Kalispell that evening.

Tim & I made a "man" rule: 100 miles 'til b'fast. We went over that. Not alot of opportunities along those long, solitary roads in Montana. Finally, came to a town of Ovando. Consisted of 5 bldgs: post office, gas station/general store, cafe, museum (what?!) and a fishing tackle shop. A few homes were adjacent. Population maybe 100. The Stray Bullet cafe' was great though. I had the "Outlaw:" two eggs, toast, hashbrowns, sausage with plenty of coffee so as to warm up. I asked our waitress who was of high school age how far she traveled to school. An hour. How 'bout groceries I asked. 1.5 hours back to the larges town...Missoula. (Someday, I will live in Montana)

Reached the coveted Tiber Dam around 2 or 3 only after traveling 30 miles of deep gravel road (listed as a highway on the Montana map) that was infested with prairie dogs with suicidal ideations. Little f'ers just kept running out in front of us. Do you know how hard it is to keep a m'cycle upright in gravel without small mammals running in front of you? It ain't easy. Then there was the pronghorn antelope that decided to race alongside and then abruptly in front of Tim. I was riding the six o'clock and got to witness the "race." It was cool.

Skipping ahead as too much fun was had to include in only one post. Suday left Kalispell early. Very chilly. Headed west toward home. Picked up a second dam along the way. Extra bonus. Made good time across Idaho and 1/2 of way averaging 80 mph. Then came the 10 miles outside Snoqualmie Pass. Traffic increased, speed decreased. We started up the pass and the rain began to fall...in buckets. Oh extreme suckage. It continued from then until home...over 100+ miles. And the temp was 39 at the pass.

***CAUTION***CAUTION*** Read No Further (Unless interested in TMI Tuesday type info)

Here's the problem with rain like we encountered...it was so much that even my waterproof stuff soon became less than waterproof. Normally, I don't mind riding in the rain. I feel cozy. My waterproof pants, jacket, gloves and boots topped with helmet on head make me feel as though I'm in a cocoon isolated from the outside. I kind of like the pitter patter sound of drops falling on my helmet. This day though, my cocoon was permeated. It gave up it's watertight integrity and the water soon flowed inside.

So, I don't normally go "commando." But for some reason I decided to today. Well, mosty because I didn't want to wear my boxer briefs for the ride as they creep up my butt. Anyway, commando was working just fine until the rain began to filter in. First it was just a little seep throgh the seat of my breeches as the rain puddled in on my m'cycle seat. Soon, though, the seep turned into a river. I could feel the stream flowing. The headwaters began at buttcrack valley and continued on down through sphincter stream. The river forked at left & right cheek creek. From there it flowed around scrotum delta eventually making its way, as a trickle, down thigh canyon.

Not a pleasant feeling. The good news (huh,?) is that once I was thoroughly soaked I couldn't tell anymore. That and the fact I was numb from the cold.

We rolled in at 9pm. Wifey had hot tea for Brian & I. (Tim diverted and continued East to Seattle while we had to travel another 55 miles north).

All credit to Brian. He is hardcore! 1500+ miles on his first m'cycle trip in over 7 years with two crazies and horrible weather. He loved it! (That's why he left work early yesterday due to not feeling well).

So, when are we going again? SOON I HOPE!!!!!!!!

The Dam Tour!

Weekend Man Trip planned! So, there is this event called the Dam Tour. It's where motorcyclists sign up and are given a list of 20 dams (8 in WA; 8 in OR; and 4 others elsewhere). The object is to ride to as many or all as you can by Sep 30th. {For more info, check out www.damtour.com} Anyway, there is one in Montana that still has yet to be visited this year. I decided I was going to be the first one. A couple buddies from work wanted to go along.

Objective: Tiber Dam, in Chester, MT
Plan: Ride 1500 miles round trip in 2.5 days.
Mode of Transport: (1) 2003 HD Sportster; (1) 2006 Yamaha V-Star Custom 1100; (1) 2004 Yamaha Road Star.

Have any of you seen the movie "Wild Hogs?" Funny stuff. I think (hope) our adventure will be slightly tamer but who knows. I'll post pics next week when I return.

Have a great weekend y'all!!

Busy, busy, busy

Wow, a week since I posted. The weather has been nice and that's kept me busy. Between shuttling boys to baseball, practicing baseball, lawn work, etc, etc I just haven't been on the computer.

The past week has seen gorgeous, sunshiny weather here in the Northwest. Yesterday it was 75 degrees! Wooo Hooo...BRING ON SUMMER! I'm ready for it. But, alas, with good weather also comes some things that shouldn't be on display, at least by some. First, here in the Northwest most folks are very pale to the point of being beyond pale and almost transluscent. The ones who aren't are either ethnic or fake & bake. Yet, whenever Mr. Sunshine peeks out a high percentage of NW'ers feel the compulsion to bare almost all. Hey, that's alot of white I tell ya. And, in typical ignorant fashion (as in "Uh, sun...so lovely. Must absorb it's rays") those transluscent beings quickly turn bright pink to red. Mmmm, mmmm toasty. Sunscreen people. Sunscreen.

On another note...I found myself staring at a lovely woman's breasts on this morning's commute to work. I couldn't help myself. She was sitting about the middle of the bus, over the wheel well, so every little imperfection & bump in the road was trasmitted up through her seat. I was fixated, captivated and fascinated by the jouncing and jiggling of her breasts. It kept me completely entertained for almost the whole, one hour ride. "The boobs on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down early in the morning!" I know. It sounds pervy. However, I wasn't like staring as in the Chester the Molester; "heh heh want some candy" sort of way. I was admiring them. Like art. *Sigh* I tell you this much: if I was a woman I would so be a lesbian. I like the boobs. I like the other parts of a woman too. God did a great wonder when he created you all.

BTW, did you hear the one...A man speaks to God and asks; "God why did you make woman beautiful?" God replies, "So you would love her." "But, God, why did you make her smell so lovely?" asks the man. Again, God replies, "So you would love her." Then the man asks; "Why then, God, did you make her so dumb?" "So she would love you!" was God's answer.

My wife's no dummy and yet she still loves me. Yeah!!!

Love That Sun

Ah, this week in the NW has started beautifully. Sunny days and warm temps. When I got off the bus yesterday morning, the air was already warming and filled with the sun's rays. Looking east, the sky was clear while out to the west, over the Sound, a light mist of fog hung but soon would be gone. The smell of ocean was in the air and it caused me to pause and inhale deeply. This is definately too nice of a day to work. Lunch and a late afternoon break found myself and a few colleagues walking the city. It was so nice to be out. Today seems to be shaping up the same. May it last through the weekend.

Now for the sadly amusing: Is there an "I Hate Paris & Her Mom" club? If so, I want to join. Also, I read that 900 fans had signed a petition to submit to Gov. Schwartzenegger requesting a pardon for her. Their reason was something like her life of glamour brings meaning to our otherwise mundane lives. HOW PATHETIC!!! If your life is so miserable that you have to rely on Paris Hilton for joy it might be better if you hung yourself. C'mon! Get up and live NOT live through someone else!

My suggestion, in response to the "Petition to Pardon Paris," is that all the sane and normal people in the country who belive that the law pertains to ALL and that her punishment is JUST, should send an email to the Governor's office declaring in the subj. line: SEND HER TO JAIL! SUPPORT THE JUDGE! THE LAW ISN'T A JOKE!

I'll be sending mine. How 'bout you? Pass the word. Let's see if we can get 10,000 willing to send her to jail.

Here's the addy: http://www.govmail.ca.gov/

Stupid Startlets v.2

So Paris Hilton is plastered all over the news again. What is wrong with our country that the people who make it up continue to feed the egos & arrongance of the rich & famous? Her latest declaration: "My sentence is cruel." Cruel?! Cruel?! What f'ing delusional world does she live in? Obviously a good and literal one.

I applaud that Judge for being firm and not caving into her status. I hope now the court remains firm and backs the Judge and forces her to carry out her sentence...in the real county jail and not some toned down, fluffed up version of a jail. I hope she has a hygiene impaired, overweight bull dike cellmate with a lazy eye and unshaven armpits. I hope this cellmate takes a real "liking" to Miss Hilton.

It disgusts me that someone with so much, so priveleged and pampered is so aloof and ignorant and blind to the real world. Seeing her and seeing the news media hype her up also disgusts me because our nation's brave are dying and being maimed in a far off land.

Sometimes, I am so ashamed to be an American. Our newspapers, our media and a good portion of our population are so taken by celebrities and their fantasy lifestyles that they insulate themselves and remain oblivious to the atrocities of the world.

Oh how I love our service men & women. Brave, obedient and loyal...all so some little rich tart can complain that her violation of the law (that WE are all expected to obey as well) can call 45 days in a cell "cruel."

Hmmm, I think the Judge should sentence her to a one year tour of duty with the Army. WITHOUT her publicist, manager, staff, etc. Hey, Paris, go get your ass shot off in Afghanistan if county jail is too cruel for you.

Words & Phrases

Every culture, whether it be social or corporate, has it's own slang. Words and phrases used to communicate particular ideas, thoughts or feelings. In the military our slang was acronymns. I have found that acronymns corporate America also possesses an exhaustive list of acronymns. But that doesn't really bug me.

My current company has a certain culture. It is one of passive aggressiveness at times, plagued with decision making disorder and an overdeveloped need for consensus. I love it nonetheless. But, there are some overly used words and phrases here that have come to annoy me. Here are a few:

1) Reach Out. Ex: "Thanks for reaching out to me with reference to this project."
2) Robust. Ex: "Let's ensure our program is robust and give the client a roubust
deliverable." (I have yet to hear about anyone's ass being robust)
3) Engage. Ex: "Make sure to engage that other business unit to see what they did."
4) Touchpoint. Ex: "We need to ensure we hit all the touchpoints on this one."

Of course, my company has acronymns too; about as many or more than the military. There is one that I'm of the opinion should've been changed...STD. One would have thought that the marketing people or someone higher up would have suggested a modification to that. No. It has been broadcast all over intranet and everywhere else. And, STD in this case, is a benefit :)

Sheesh, if someone didn't know better they'd think I was in the porn industry. (I'm not).

Honoring My Friend

Yesterday my good friend celebrated his birthday. We had him over for pizza. My significant other (SO) made a moist & tasty German chocolate cake. And then we just sat around an hung out.

This friend and I have known each other for almost 20 years. He's the only friend I have had for this long and still keep in active contact. We met in 1988 as young men serving in our first military unit together. We became Christians in / about the same time. Attended the same church for many years. I stayed in the military and he moved on but we always stayed close. He visited us in Italy. He is a friend of my SO and my kids. How good of a friend is he? Well, he puts up with and goes along (most often) with my crazy plans. He's deathly afraid of heights but agrees to go rock climbing and mountaineering with me. (I have killer video of him inching over a cliff edge to rappel to the bottom, spewing forth great & many explatives).

Later this month, he has agreed to go skydiving with me. Neither of us has done this before. I've always wanted to and, well, he I don't believe has. But he's agreed to go along with me. What a guy! (Often my SO will send him along as a potential "voice of reason" should I decide to do anything REAL crazy).

He rides a motorcycle and we go on rides together. He's a real friend; one who may get annoyed and frustrated with me but is always there if needed. He hasn't met all his goals yet and isn't right where he wanted to be in his career but keeps trudging on.

Overall, he's a fabulous dude with great character. Oh, and ladies, if you know any available girlfriends he is single.

Here's to you Dude! Happy B-day and Ride Fast!

Iron Chef Sunday School

I enjoy cooking. My significant other & my Things praise my culinary ability and friends seem to enjoy visiting more when they know I'll be feeding them. I also possess a splinter of competitiveness.

When we started attending our chucrh after returning to the States, there was a Marriage Ministry sunday school class that we became involved. There were snacks available & coffee. Early AM get-me-goings. The usual was unimaginative: store bought pastries, cookies, sliced fruit, etc. Sometimes someone would bring a fresh baked, still warm coffee cake but nothing spectacular. So, when the snack sign-up went 'round, I figured I'd contribute. I could do better than cookies. First, there was a breakfast casserole with plenty of egg and cheese and bread and sausage. It went quick. I almost didn't have to wash the casserole it got cleaned up so well. Next, was Quesadilla Grande with cheese, bacon, green onion on top and sour cream on the side. Again, no leftovers.

Then, it happened. One Sunday, on a day that it wasn't my turn to provide snack, a crock pot of homemade sausage gravy and bisquits was made available. I heard murmurings of praise for this b'fast delight. Oh, and it was tasty too. Could it be? Did I have competition? Secretly, in my heart, I determined this to be a challenge. The challenger would be sorry he crossed spatulas with me.

My next contribution was a breakfast pizza. Scrambled egg with spinach and plenty of parmesan cheese cooked in and spread over a golden brown crust. Then topped with shredded cheddar (sheredded by my hand and not bought that way) and diced sundried tomatoes. The coup de Grace...crumbled feta. Oh happy day. It was spectacular in appearance and taste. Taken to the gathering on a hot stone...it was still piping hot when served. Yeah, baby!

The cat was soon loosed and my competition discovered I viewed him as competition (he had contributed B'fast Burritos and French Toast sticks with syrup...all homemade). He recognizes me the same. WE are the only competition. The rest of the snack providers are weak, puny and lazy opting rather to "buy" their contributions instead of putting some of themselves into it. Sluggards! Slackers! Pathetic! (Do I sound snooty?)

Well, May 6th will be our next duel. He approached me last Sunday and said, "So the challenge is on. What are you bringing next week?" Oh so bold but so foolish. I told him I would probably go with the B'fast Pizza standby favorite. But now that I type this, I'm reconsidering. How far is he willing to take this? Oh, it's on alright. But, sadly, he will soon discover he is no match for the culinary force that resides in me. I will crush him! Mwahhh, haaaa, haaaa!