Awesome Weekend

Ah, the weather in the Nor'west this weekend was fabulous. Saturday found me sleeping in until 9:30. I usually never stay in bed this late but it was a tough week. I had no real projects pending and the Things didn't have baseball until 2:30. So, why not capitalize on the opportunity.

The wife and I discussed a motorcycle ride after baseball. But, then we decided there were actual chores to do that needed attention...lawn mowed, laundry, etc. However, the forecast for Sunday was to be a repeat of Saturday with temps in the low 60's and sun. It was agreed upon, then, that we would work fiendishly on Saturday so as to be able to play on Sunday.

Sunday AM was gray and cool. Oh no! We went to early church service (8:30am). It was rough as we usually attend the later service, but we were blessed with sunshine when we exited the church. Wooo Hoooo! To home and then a change of clothes. Rally the Things and we were off.

Did about a 150 mile day. Not extreme but respectable. The wife and I are doing this thing called the Dam Tour 2007. There are 8 different dams in Oregon & 8 in Washington with 4 bonus dams scattered abroad. The object is to motorcycle to a dam, photo yourself with your motorcycle and registration placard. Then you email the photo to the sponsor who keeps a ranking of how many dams folks make it to. At the end of the season there is a big BBQ and prizes for those who visit the most dams. Today, we achieved #2. By end of June, we should be up to 6. Shasta Dam in CA is on the list as a bonus. We intend to ride the coastal hwy from WA to CA later in the summer to check that one off. That'll take a good 7-10 days.

This is our family hobby and it's quite grand.

Hollywood Prima Donnas Disgust Me!

Heard on the radio the other day that Katie Holmes, (the more "normal" one of the Cruise duo), had felt she was being followed by paparazzi on her way to Target to go shopping. She called the local police who arrived and took her complaint as any good police offier would do. But then, THEN, they had to escort her throughout Target while she did her shopping.

O.K. WTF?! The folks in blue are employed by ALL taxpayers to protect and serve ALL taxpayers and NOT to play nurse maid & protector to a spoiled, eccentric, little tart! What a waste of man hours and tax dollars to have at least two officers follow her around a department store to buy pampers for her kid. You'd think with the money she and wack-o hubby have they could afford to hire their own personal security instead of depriving the public of two officers of the law.

Why does this bug me? Well, I used to be in LE. I also used to be a protection agent for dignitaries. These people have money coming out their eyeballs. They can afford their own security and most do employ a guard at some time or another. The fact is that these "stars" and "starlets" are no more than expectant, demanding, profane & vain, verbally abusive and mostly ugly human beings that feel all of humanity is here for them; to be at their beck & call.

Next time you're in a fender bender and have to wait 90 minutes for police response or find yourself asking the question: "Where's a cop when you need one?" Uh, most likely they're not at the donut shop any longer but rather Shopping with the Stars! (Hey, that could be a new reality show, no?!)

Well, We Did It

The date of my last post was also the day of the AWANA Derby. This is like the Boy Scouts' pinewood derby. Remember my post a week or two prior where the construction of the racers ceased due to Thing One & Thing Twos reluctance to complete chores? Well, they finally got it together and came through. We didn't do so well in speed. In fact, Thing One's car never even crossed the finish line and it got its head ripped off...on accident of course. Thing Two's car placed in three heats but was eliminated in the fourth.

However, they did win for design: Thing One taking 1st






































and Thing Two 2nd.





































Ahhh...another year past and we leave with trophy's again. And it was a time in which my spouse and I could witness the development of our children.

Thing One has his mother's sarcasm. It went like this: Young girl approaches check in bench with a hideously ugly "car." Thing One glances at it. After a milli-second of consideration he nudges his mother, leans over and whispers, "She must be going for design."
I love that boy!!

You Come Across the Strangest People...

I work in the city. I don't live in the city. I don't want to live in the city. The occassional walkabout for lunch or an errand is enough city exposure for me. For example, just yesterday I was standing on the sidewalk @ the crosswalk awaiting the light to change. A gent walks up and is standing beside me waiting for the same. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I notice he kneels down. With the switness of a rattlesnake striking, he grabs something off the ground. The way he went at it, I figured it must have been a gold nugget...or at least a quarter. He stands and I notice the same hand that snatched the item of value was now placing said item in his mouth. My curiosity now piqued I turned to steal a glance. The man had picked up a cigarette stub. About 1" of tobacco remained and the fag was flattened (but not crushed) most assuredly by a shoe. When I left the man, to cross the street, he was fumbling in his pocket for a match or lighter. Whew! Now that's some serious nicotine addiction. Hope he found his light and got his fix.

Then there was the metro bus ride. Ehhh, shudder. I HATE inner city public transport! I'd rather walk. In this instance, I went along with a colleague because he knew the locale of the lucnh joint we were going to. It was somewhere in the Asian district. I didn't know...I don't live in the city. Anyway, immediately upon climbing onto the bus I was confronted with the shrieking of a young woman. She wasn't screaming at me but rather at the bus driver. It went something like this:
Young Woman: "Mr Bus Driver, will you tell her to be quiet!"
Bus Driver: Says nothing.
Other Woman: "I don't have to be quiet. Mr Driver, she's spraying something."
Bus Driver: Remains silent.
Young Woman: (To driver & Other Woman) "I was putting on some perfume. There's no law against that! Tell her!"

Oh the drama. I walked down the aisled past that and noticed my colleague pushing on seat cushions. Apparently, maybe, checking for cushion firmness. I dunno. Never got an explanation. Then there was the girl with gaudy make-up and lots of it with about a hundred holes and piercings in her face.

The list goes on. But, on my Express Commuter bus with all biz folk commuting from the rural outback, I'm the freak. In my slacks and shirt with coat, I lay a blanket across my legs. Don my bright red headphones with a skull emblem on them; listen to my Walkman and nap. Yes, I am a freak. I still have a Walkman and have yet to enter the techno mainstream.

Happy Monday!

It's Monday and another successful commute has landed me at my desk. In moments, I'll join some colleagues and head off for AM coffee. There's a Starbucks in our building but it sucks compared to the little joint across the street. Ever hear of a "Yankee Dog?" My new drink. (I usually would have a triple tall, 2 raw sugar latte). A Yankee Dog is an Americano with foamed milk on top. I get it with 2 raw sugar.

I've had a continual craving for PB & J sandwiches lately. Had one for breakfast and will have one for lunch. Had several last week. Mmmm, mmmm...TASTY! Goes good with a Yankee Dog, too.

Alright, we're back on track on the derby front; no pun intented. The spawn of my loins have managed to get the sticks picked up and even showed some initiative and climbed on the roof of the garage to clean the gutters and scrape off the moss...much to their mother's delight, eh er, horror.

Thing Two's car is now painted, sticker-fied and clear coated. All that's left is to attach the wheels and some weight.

Thing One's car is ready to be painted and then final assembly. We should be ready for Wednesday's race! I'll post pics later.

Yesterday ended with a motorcycle ride to this great little BBQ joint about an hour away. Ohhh it was so good. Wife and I had the two meat platter with spud salad, cole slaw and baked beans. It was pulled pork and beef. Ohhh, did I mention how good it was? There was a roll of paper towels on the table instead of napkins (the true sign of a good BBQ joint). Two bottles of BBQ sauce sat near the paper towels...one a mesquite and the other a tangy, spicy, mildly hot. We INHALED that food. The customer service was so fabulous. Everyone in the door was greeted by the pit master and his crew. They would yell out to customers as they ate, enquiring as to if they needed anything. They made up a pot of coffee for us and it was nice and strong and hot. Just what was needed after a bit of a chilly ride. Wanna know where the place is? You're gonna have to ask me.

I was most pleased with Thing Two. He's so well mannered and direct, too. When the pit master / owner saw us roll up he started welcoming us and talking bikes. He asked if the boys had a good ride to which they said yes. He then commented they were two lucky kids. This is when Thing Two says..."We're not lucky. We're spoiled!" Ahhh, sniff sniff, what a good and appreciative lad.

Oh, TGIF...I Think

First, a question: Should one be less annoyed with a driver who is travelling 35mph in a 50mph zone on a narrow two lane road with limited to no passing zones because they have a handicap tag on their automobile?

Oh TGIF! I don't think I've really been at home all week and can hardly remember what happened on any particular day. Ever had weeks like this?! Sure you have. Tomorrow, though, that much coveted day to sleep in and putter around the house & yard doing projects that I enjoy will be interrupted with 2 baseball games, a family get together (which I'm ditichin') and have to scramble to complete two pinewood derby cars that could've been completed already if only the little b**tards who they are for would have cooperated. Oh, and I have to put the new backrest on my honey's motorcycle. WHEW! I'm tired already and I haven't even started. Plus, there's the flower bed I have to add soil and mulch to as well as the flowers themselves.

But, doing those things are enjoyable to me so it's not going to be horrible. Getting out of bed early enough to get it all accomplished is going to be horrible!

As for the answer to the question (at least my answer): NO! I don't care who you are. GET THE "F" OFF THE ROAD IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THE SPEED LIMIT! YOU'RE A HAZARD!!! (Just 'cause a person's handicapped shouldn't matter. In fact, to me it matters less. It's not like the roadways have their own specailly approved ADA lanes. If you've been deemed able to drive then DRIVE dammit)!

Sumpin' Ain't Kosher in the Pickle Barrel

Baseball Registration to local Little League: $170 (for 2)
New Glove: $45 (for 1)
New Cleats: $50 (for 2)

Our local little league has about 600 kids of all ages registered. Average cost per child to register is $85. Approximate total = $51000 / year.

The league has equipment bags with bats, catchers gear, etc. that was purchased who knows how long ago. The equipment is in fair to good condition for the most part (I know as I coached last year and assist this year).

The league encourages coaches to solicit sponsors for the teams. This means more revenue coming in. Then, my son (eldest) brings home coupons to sell for a little league car wash @ five bucks a pop. That's $50 per kid if all of those get sold. So, let's assume that sponsorship brings in $10,000 and the car wash brings in $3000 (just estimates). Our total revenue is now...$68,000. Here's where it's going to get interesting:

Now, the Coaches are volunteers. The Coaches drag the field prior to games. They don't get paid as they are volunteers. (Keep that in mind). The Kids get issued a hat, shirt, pants. They get to keep the hat. The younger kids are umpired by the coaches. Older kids have umpires. Do they get paid? I assume, but probably not much...I'd guess $20 / game. So let's assume that there are 60 teams and they each play 16 games (I'd be more specific but the league site and/or my computer is being uncooperative so I can't get exact numbers). Total pay to Umps = $19,200. A stretch but let's go with it. Then there are the fields. Public parks and school fields. Hmmm...public. Should be no fees here. So where is the remaining $48,800 going? Let's assume:

Baseballs & Practice Balls = $2500
Replacement gear (est.) = $2400, Bats; $3000, Catchers Gear = $5400
Uniforms = $15000

Total = $22,900 / Difference = $25000

Where is that $25000? I don't know but I'm going to find out!

Oh yeah, then the coach of my eldest son's team has the nerve to tell us parents that we need to buy red socks for the players so as to match the f***n' oversized uniform provided to my son. Uh huh...my eldest was issued like a man's size large jersey. (He's 11). He was told that if it didn't fit to bring it back for a different size. He did. They didn't have any other sizes. This shirt is so big, the kid can wrap it around himself twice like a toga! For crying out loud, dammit...what happened to the days of little league being fun and local with just a hat and t-shirt that the kids got to KEEP! At least then you felt you were getting your money's worth.

Why Can't They Cooperate?!

It's spring. With the budding flowers, birds and blooms comes too...AWANA Derby (aka pinewood derby for scouters).

I love the derby. I get to cut, carve and configure simple blocks of wood into little racing cars for my kids. Two years ago, this annual ritual provided me with an excuse to buy a Dremel tool (knock off, but works just as well). It's awesome! I drill with it. I sand with it and I can even cut with it.

Derby night is a night of great anticipation and anxiety: "will the car meet specs? Will it be fast enough? Can I (I mean my boys) match so & so this year; my (my boys') only real competition?" Check in is at 5 and racing starts at like 6 or so. Divisions are by age and there are several heats in each division. Two catagories of competition exist as well: 1) Speed, 2) Design.

There are hot dogs, soda & chips. Chairs are set out in the large church gymnasium sort of horseshoe, stadium style. Flashes from the cameras of proud parents "pop" all evening and at the end; the 1st, 2nd & 3rd place winners in each category take home a trophy.

Our first year was dismal as my eldest thought it would be more fun to spend time with the G-parents than help with his car. I did a basic job. He didn't win...in any category. He was quite sad. However, it was a good lesson as I explained that we only get out of things what we put in. The past two years, he has seen that come true as he helped immensely with the next two cars...

This was the 2005 1st place winner in the Design category for his age. Under the engine is added additional weight. The front tires are 1/2 the width of the rear as I trimmed them to be narrow just like real dragster tires.

This little blue coupe took 3rd in Speed last year. He put alot of effort into polishing the axle shafts, roughing the tires, etc. I think it would've got 1st in design, but you're only permitted to win in one category. (It even has a "metal" grille on front, a piece of aluminum foil fashioned and glued.

Here we have the tools, the workbench and the beginnings of the dragster for my youngest son's car. (His performance last year, his first year, was much like his elder brother's first year...utter failure. This year he was prepared to work).

The next photo is of the dragster cutout and preliminary sanding complete. Additional modifications forthcoming.

Here is where the story gets sad. I have about 7 hours into the car below with about another 5-7 more. Then, I have to assist the Elder Son with the cutout of his, coaching with sanding, etc. That will be another 14 hours. That's alot of time. That's time away from cleaning up my lawn, painting the deck, picking up debris from all the heinous windstorms this year, planting spring flowers, prepping the boat for fishing season AND THE LIST GOES ON...

What do I ask..."children, please pick up sticks & branches from the lawn so the mowing can be done." Do they do it? No. Well that's not entirely true. They did it; just did it half a**ed! So, I say: "I refuse to work on the cars anymore or take you to the derby until the lawn is finished." We're 10 days away from race day. The sticks still lay strewn about in the lawn. The car sits on my workbench, unaltered. For Crying Out Loud, Dammit...why can't they just do what they're told! I want to race for pity's sake!